Newark

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NewarkNewark, New Jersey, 1952 by Lee Friedlander

I would really like a coke, cheeseburger and french fries now. There’s a lot of people eating french fries and drinking coke. I don’t have money for it, that for sure. But that doesn’t change the fact that I would like to have this special offer of the day. When I grow up, I will buy it every day. Until then I will just look through the windows and be invisible, just like I am now.

Cheeseburger, french fries and coke…that sounds great. I wonder what it tastes like.

* * *

Now, I’ve been looking at this kid for the last twenty minutes, although he’s been standing here longer. He’s standing here long enough that it has become impossible to ignore him. It’s not good for the business. Oh, what am I saying…

I mean, I’m sure customers don’t feel comfortable, but I feel sorry for the kid. I was once just like him- penniless, young and full of dreams. Hungry, too. Looking through the windows I’ve decided one day that I will own a business one day. Now I do. And kids are looking through my window now. I’ll invite the kid inside. I was invited in once, too.

Incognito

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IncognitoIncognito

I’ve had it. I will go away, to the big wide world. Somewhere out there has to be a place where I can live the way I want. Somewhere out there has to be a place perfect for me, where I can create a place for myself. The world out there is open and everything is possible. Out there somewhere I can be treated as an adult. I do need to grow, though.

I’ve packed my bags and I had everything I needed: my fox – because I would need improvisation, umbrella – because I would need protection, and my favorite book, that I’ve never actually read but I like what I’ve heard about it, because I would need wisdom. I’ve taken my mum’s lipstick and put it on my lips, because that’s what big girls do. I am ready.

I stepped outside and headed for the big heavy door that had old wooden scent and it’s was the only thing that was standing between me and the big wide world. I’ve stretched and stood on my toes. I couldn’t reach the handle.

I wasn’t big enough to go to the outside world. I wasn’t even five years old. Reminiscing this failed attempt to step into the world, I am looking at my unpacked bags, books that I’ve read and lips without a lipstick and I wonder where did I get the courage from.

Challenges

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The night walker(2010The night walker (2010) by Nom Kinnear King

I have always admired her fearlessness. I wonder where she got it from. She responds to challenges with a natural ease, like it is something she does every day, that it’s almost supernatural. Everything she does seems like she had done it so many times already that she forgot to count. She would go straight to the core. I would watch the lightness of her moves and I would be mesmerized.

She never hesitates, not for a minute. Her decisions are always the right ones. She says that is intuition, the feeling you have in your gut that tells you where to go and what steps to make; the feeling similar to the one you feel when you wake up in a dark room and you are not sure where exactly you are, but there is something familiar that you can recognize as your own, something that will help you to place yourself. ”You just know and you make a step with certainty and your eyes shut. Most of the time you are not even sober”, she says. Now I wonder have I ever woken up in a dark room.

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