“I LOVE YOU” by Darlene Marryatt-Ruhs

I was listening to a talk the other day by John Gray. If you’ve never heard of him, he’s the author Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus. Insightful stuff. In this particular talk, he dealt with the topic of communication, and how communication fosters passion.

Along with everything else, he mentioned something very frightening. He said that in all relationships, it’s common for the passion and romance to fade after three years. It’s like God gives us three free years of hormones, he said. Three years? I thought. That’s it? Three years? Then what, I’m supposed to die?

After three years, then, your relationship becomes vulnerable to deteoration. You lose interest. You’re not attracted to each other anymore. I can’t argue with that completely. I’ve seen it in other people and heard of it, too. I haven’t personally experienced it, thank God—probably because I’ve been careful, and am pretty fresh in love myself, relatively speaking. But I like to think I’m one of the lucky ones. One of the steadfast ones. I believe, therefore I am.

But I got to thinking. Nobody says friendship has to break off after three years. No one says families break up after three years. My mother never told me, ok Angela, it’s been three years. Time’s up. Bye. Dad never did either. They’re both still a very important part of my life, and I love them just like that. I’ve had long-lasting friendships for over a decade, some over two decades…

If a relationship is purely sexual, purely lustful, and there is nothing else, then yeah, sure, three years is actually an admirably long time. Even in a marriage people crave variety and adventure and excitement with their soulmate. But if a relationship begins and continues on a deeper level it’s different. That’s if two people are connected also on an emotional, mental, and spiritual—as well as physical, of course—level (and don’t laugh at that, because think of all your “loved ones”: family or friends who are with you throughout your life; don’t you share a “connection” with them? Don’t they get you, as you get them?).

But—yes John—that connection is nourished by communication. Because even friendships fade or get neglected. Even families get estranged. It’s tragic, but it happens all the time.

So it’s up to us, I guess. I agree with his point then, after all. Communication is critical to any relationship, especially a romantic relationship which supposedly is center stage of your life. It’s more important, sometimes, to be in love than to be right.

“Angreek87″