“MYTHOLOGY: ICARUS” by Mariaan Maritz

Don’t get me wrong. I love being Greek—more specifically, I love being Greek-American. Just as I would love being… well, any ethnicity, if I could call it mine. All the more reason, maybe, for me to poke fun at it a bit. It helps that “My Big Fat Greek Wedding” was such a big hit; you can probably relate to various aspects of my life, regardless (or because) of your own culture. Here’s just a recap from the movie. You could also dub it, Conversion to Greekness.

1. To every problem there is a solution. To every disease there is a potion. Not Windex. Olive oil.
2. If you’re hungry, you must eat. If you’re not hungry, you must eat.
3. Lamb is a vegetable. Or dessert. Maybe. For sure, it is not meat.
4. It’s never too late to be baptized in the Greek Orthodox Church. Arm floats/swimmies are not mandatory, but allowed.
5. If you don’t get dolled up, you’ll never find a man to make your babies.
6. Whatever your name is, you need not feel excluded. Deep down inside you, you know your name, too, means that you are a fruit.
7. Keep all the Nicks on your good side.
8. You don’t need to call your parents on the phone. Just yell across the yard to your neighbors. (Which leads us to…)
9. No more privacy. (Honeymoon may or may not be included in this rule—depends on personal luck and distance.)
10. Don’t argue with the father-in-law. He owns a restaurant and/or he knows how to cook. He’ll be making a meal for you some time soon.

“Angreek87″